RAW September 11th, 1995

Here we go. If you're wondering why 9/4/95 isn't here, there was no RAW that week and only Nitro and I only review RAW and Nitro when they're head to head.

And this is how Monday Night RAW starts. Just this with static for a good 20 seconds. So exciting!

So RAW kicks off with a Summerslam recap of the epic ladder match between Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels. Personally, the one they had at Summerslam 1995 was way better then the one they had at Wrestlemania X.

And now we see the British Bulldog turning heel on Diesel who somehow drew less then the Ultimate Warrior as champion. That's really saying something. But Bulldog just beats up Diesel and it ultimately leads to nowhere on this episode of RAW. The WWF always did that during this time period anyway.

For the first match of the night it is Razor Ramon vs. British Bulldog. Not bad. This match lived exactly up to my expectations as an entertaining match for free TV since back then free TV matches lacked a lot of depth and only had a long and epic match once in a blue moon. Hey, at least it's not an hour of squashes and promos like the TV shows were in the 1980's.

So overall this match has been pretty back and forth and the entire match was back and forth anyway. Razor gets the advantage for a small amount of time and like a typical heel with a manager, Davey Boy goes to Jim Cornette for a pep talk. I swear managers are a lost art. I miss managers.

And now a wild Dean Douglas appears! Dean is apparently feuding with Razor Ramon at this time and actually getting pushed. His gimmick was so cartoony it was great and went over. Only if his push actually was successful....

A wild 1-2-3 Kid appears!? Is he going to help out his friend Razor Ramon from the evil Dean Douglas!?

1-2-3 Kid's attack did critical damage now Dean is running to the back in rage! 1-2-3 Kid gained 30 XP. He hasn't quite evolved into Syxx-Pac yet.

And now with Dean in the back, Davey Boy hit a powerslam! 1-2-3 Kid is now going into save his friend Razor Ramon from the evil Englishman with a frog splash! And like a true heel, Davey gets out of the way having 1-2-3 crash and burn onto Razor. The referee has been knocked out since Dean Douglas appeared and now only in the wrestling world can heels get away with doing dirty tricks behind the referee's back but the referee sees the face interfere. Of course, in WWF fashion, this match is a DQ finish with the win going to Razor Ramon.

And now Vince McMahon is trying to get a word with these two about what the fuck just happened a few minutes ago. Is 1-2-3 Kid showing his true colors as Vince McMahon would call it!?

It appears I am mistaken! 1-2-3 Kid, like CM Punk, is demanding respect from his best friend Razor Ramon and in pro wrestling logic, you demand that you have a wrestling match with your best friend in front of thousands of people and millions around the world on television. Razor doesn't show any emotion to this which really hurts this segment and 1-2-3 never really showed too much emotion either. So basically like everything else during this era in the WWF, it was unbelievable.

Well since 1-2-3 Kid left the ring going to the back to put his tampon in, Vince McMahon is trying to get Razor's thoughts on what just happened here with 1-2-3 Kid. What does Razor do instead? Talk about Dean Douglas and how he will beat him at In Your House. Jesus christ, what a dick.

And now after a commercial break, RAW returns with the super exciting tag teams of the Smoking Gunns vs. Brooklyn Brawler and Rad Radsteen! Well Brooklyn and Radsteen didn't get an entrance so it's obvious they're going to get squashed by the Gunns. Plus Rad Radsteen is under a grunge gimmick. Jesus christ Vince, at this point grunge died at least two years ago! But anyway, wrestling has always been outdated with the fashion trends, fads, current events, etc. But yep, this match was nothing but a squash.

After the Gunns celebrated their "hard fought" victory, we now head to a Goldust vignette. I am such a Goldust mark that I bounce off the walls every time I see him. Overall a great promo with a Night of the Living Dead quote, and he kept talking about how a dark cloud will be coming over the WWF when he debuts. If this was 1995, I would of been legit excited to see this guy.

And now we had to RAW's promotional considerations payed for by the following companies. Goddammit where's JR to have an orgasm over these!?

And now RAW returns with Issac Yankem, D.D.S. facing a jobber. Obviously this match was really quick and the commentary was nothing but trying to get Issac over. Jerry Lawler was actually trying to get Issac heel heat by saying "Issac is the 5th dentist that says kids shouldn't have Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and Bologna sandwiches with their lunches!" Thanks Jerry, now I hate Issac more then Fred Phelps hates gay people. 

That is literally one of the worst chokeslams I have ever seen. And to think THIS guy was going to be Kane and become a WWF champion!?

And the DDS! Get it? Because he's a dentist? and the move is called a DDT!? I am not joking that was the name of Issac's finishing move. I almost wanted to headbutt a wall after hearing that. We now cut the crowd and..

OH MY GOOD GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?

I'm sorry folks, that scared the shit out of me. Anyway we cut now to Todd Pentingall in the newscenter. Todd was the man. But he's hyping In Your House which is coming up in two weeks and showing the card for it thus far. It's really a hollowed Superstars card. Those were the early In your House's in general anyway.

So now we cut to a hype video of why this feud between Bret Hart and Jean-Pierre Lafiete, an evil french pirate, broke out. It was over Jean stealing Bret's sunglasses that he gave to a kid in the front row. Seriously. And this calls for a PPV match. Oh well, this had better build up then CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan indefinitely!

Sorry kid, Jean Lafiete didn't screw you, you screwed yourself. If this were the attitude era, then this kid would of been a cancer patient judging by his bald head.

And now before getting to the main event, we cut to the guy who manages the WWF catalog selling HBK merchandice that is bound to ruin your child's social life at school! $25 for plastic heart glasses and a hat? What a great deal! An idiot wouldn't take that deal! 

So now FINALLY the main event begins for the Intercontiental title between Shawn Micheals and Psycho Sid. Michaels get the upper hand in the beginning of the match with his speed advantage and forcing Sid to go out of the ring to clear his thoughts and get a pep talk from his manager Ted DiBiasse.

And holy shit Shawn Michaels just sold a choke slam from a guy who shit himself during a match like he just got shot. That takes some real skill there my friend.

...... I love Shawn Michaels's selling and all but goddamn this is just over the top. Shawn was literally selling this like he was dry humping Sid. If only I had a gif of this.....

The boyhood dream has come true!

And now after the match we get a...... STRIP TEASE!? And I directly quote Vince McMahon during this: "It's the show after the show!" in a very sexually pleased voice with his commentary voice. Think about how fucked up that sounds right there.

I think I just threw up in my mouth. And this ends RAW. Jesus.....

FINAL RATING:

7.6/10